The Artist, Oscar favourite, is about to be swept away in the language of glamour, winning and heartwarmingness.
But let’s take a moment to reflect on how cool its mute protagonist looked even when he was down on his luck.
As George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) slid from silent movie star into forgotten hero he managed to pull off a look of suave dejectedness.
Smooth depression.
Refined poopypants.
And you, pleb, at home or on the bus, wherever you are reading this, can achieve it too.
Destined for an Oscar this year?
No, you’re not, so get ready to be glimpsed in your practised, dark broody face by getting your hands on a tailored cotton two-button suit blazer (£129, Banana Republic). It’s the defining feature of this look, largely unstructured, casual. For the full effect only do up the top button, dump your hands in the pockets and stalk around looking serious. Actually, for the full effect spend about a week sleeping in it and expose it to burning celluloid fumes.
You suave bastard, you might also want to pick up a Autograph Pure Cotton Slim Fit Stripe Shirt (£29.50, M&S) in blue mix (remember, only the film is in black and white, not the whole world). Keep a couple of buttons undone to show your innate manliness hasn’t deserted you in desperate times. Keep the whole thing casual with some Bottega Veneta Straight-Leg Corduroy Trousers (£385, Mr Porter) and Ask the Missus Nagoya2 brown leather shoes (£69.99, Office).
And chin up, things may still improve. The future of The Artist, Oscar nominee, is certainly looking pretty bright.
Outfit:
Tailored cotton two-button suit blazer – £129
Autograph Pure Cotton Slim Fit Stripe Shirt – £29.50
Bottega Veneta Straight-Leg Corduroy Trousers – £385
Ask the Missus Nagoya2 brown leather shoes – £69.99
Total: £613.49