Look the Film: The Artist – Oscar Hopeful

The Artist, Oscar favourite, is about to be swept away in the language of glamour, winning and heartwarmingness.

The Artist, Oscar Nominee

The Artist, Oscar anyone?

But let’s take a moment to reflect on how cool its mute protagonist looked even when he was down on his luck.

As George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) slid from silent movie star into forgotten hero he managed to pull off a look of suave dejectedness.

Smooth depression.

Refined poopypants.

And you, pleb, at home or on the bus, wherever you are reading this, can achieve it too.

Destined for an Oscar this year?

No, you’re not, so get ready to be glimpsed in your practised, dark broody face by getting your hands on a tailored cotton two-button suit blazer (£129, Banana Republic). It’s the defining feature of this look, largely unstructured, casual. For the full effect only do up the top button, dump your hands in the pockets and stalk around looking serious. Actually, for the full effect spend about a week sleeping in it and expose it to burning celluloid fumes.

You suave bastard, you might also want to pick up a Autograph Pure Cotton Slim Fit Stripe Shirt (£29.50, M&S) in blue mix (remember, only the film is in black and white, not the whole world). Keep a couple of buttons undone to show your innate manliness hasn’t deserted you in desperate times. Keep the whole thing casual with some Bottega Veneta Straight-Leg Corduroy Trousers (£385, Mr Porter) and Ask the Missus Nagoya2 brown leather shoes (£69.99, Office).

And chin up, things may still improve. The future of The Artist, Oscar nominee, is certainly looking pretty bright.

Outfit:

Tailored cotton two-button suit blazer – £129
Autograph Pure Cotton Slim Fit Stripe Shirt – £29.50
Bottega Veneta Straight-Leg Corduroy Trousers – £385
Ask the Missus Nagoya2 brown leather shoes – £69.99

Total: £613.49

Look the Film: Mon Oncle

Mon Oncle

Right, well this isn’t going to be cheap. Let’s start with the shoes again, because:
a) they set the tone for any outfit, and
b) they are probably the most affordable key element of this get up.To achieve the reserved, down-to-earth tone of Jaques Tati’s ‘Mon Oncle’, these Manners shoes (£74.99, Base London) keep things both suave and understated. Above, the understatement continues with some grey No Wale Corduroy Slim Fit Jeans (£29.90, Uniqlo). If possible buy longer than you need and turn up for a suitably French look. Bridge the gap strikingly with some teal Stripe Socks (£6.50, Firetrap).

The signature piece will take a toll, with a Burberry London Gadsbury Wool Coat (£895, Mr Porter), almost perfectly mimicking the French charm of Tati’s original (and you can bet he didn’t spend THAT much on it). Underneath, a sharp white shirt with accentuated collar, like a French waiter’s moustache, is needed. The St. George by Duffer White plain sateen long sleeved shirt (£32.50, Debenhams) should do the trick. While it is expensive for a piece that remains hidden, if you have followed me this far I can’t really see that being a problem for you.One of the most beautiful touches in Mon Oncle is the splash of deep red provided by Mr Hulot’s impeccable bow tie. The Plain Burgundy Bow Tie (£14.99, Swagger & Swoon) will suffice.

The second signature of the outfit can be aped by a York wide brim hat (£195, Lock & co. Hatters). If you are happy to blow nearly a grand on a coat so you can look like a French film genius from the late 50’s, you won’t think twice about bending up the rear brim on £195 worth of head wear.

Top it off in a remortgaging fashion with the Swaine Adeney Brigg Collapsible Travel Umbrella (£235, Mr Porter). Crushingly expensive, but the details are all there right down to the black tip.

Don’t invest in a pipe. Smoking will kill you.

And while you are waiting for that to happen it will make you look like a tit.

Outfit
Base London: Manners – £74.99
Stripe Socks – £6.50
No Wale Corduroy Slim Fit Jeans – £29.90
St. George by Duffer White plain sateen long sleeved shirt – £32.50
Burberry London Gadsbury Wool Coat- £895
Plain Burgundy Bow Tie – £14.99
York wide brim hat – £195
Swaine Adeney Brigg Collapsible Travel Umbrella – £235

Total Cost: £1,483.88
Total cost with postage (UK): £1,513.73 – but I suppose you could just send that chap who runs errands for you…